paradise

writing

Paradise

I am growing

which means

I can love you more now.

I will.

I have been sick for a long time now.

sieving ancientness through how wide

or swollen the space has grown between my thighs.

I am learning to live with sickness.

I am learning to live with you.

Every day awakens one memory,

a pebble falling into an esophagus,

a pebble falling back into your shoe,

a small sized you in the shape of the universe,

a little more openness.

I am growing now

I am going to Europe.

I am leaving the tree outside my window.

The tree and I grew together

so often it will be—

sometimes my love is like resin

and I am still eating you off my skin

picking tired yellow flakes and putting them in my mouth.

I keep picking tired yellow flakes to be coming in my mouth.

I do not ask where they come from anymore.

I do not hide them

I walk around needlessly molting sweet flakes like manna

I walk heavy, trying to keep you with me,

and the earth is eating you out of me

and the earth grows.

Shayla Lawson 2001